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FAN Humor: “Dan Beebe” Reacts to His Dismissal from Big 12 Conference

With the news coming out late Thursday that Dan Beebe is no longer the Big 12 Conference Commissioner, the Fake Dan Beebe from Twitter (@DanBeebe) is having a field day.

Here is a compilation of some of the Tweets from the Fake Dan Beebe from Thursday evening:


@DanBeebe
Fake Dan Beebe
THIS IS WHAT YOU BASTARDS WANTED AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GET
DANNY DID NOTHING BUT HUSTLE FOR YOU BIG 12 AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET, A FORCED RESIGNATION JUST SO OKLAHOMA WILL STOP BEING BUTTHOLES
SO LISTEN UP, AND LISTEN WELL
BAYLOR, YOU ARE A HORRIBLE LITTLE PUNK OF A SCHOOL WHO’S ONE CONGRESSMAN’S HEART ATTACK AWAY FROM BEING FORCED INTO D-II
COLORADO, I NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU AT ALL
IOWA STATE, HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A DRAIN ON THE CONFERENCE AND ON MY SANITY. YOU ARE WORTHLESS. EVERYONE IS FLEEING YOU.
KANSAS, IF YOU WANT TO GO TO THE BIG EAST BY ALL DAMN MEANS DO SO, THEY LOVE SCHOOLS WITH GOOD BASKETBALL AND NO FOOTBALL PROGRAM WHATSOEVER
KANSAS STATE YOU ARE WORSE THAN KANSAS AT EVERYTHING, LITERALLY EVERYTHING

NEBRASKA YOU WOULD BE HAPPIER IN PRESCHOOL WHERE NOBODY HAS TO REALIZE THAT THEY’RE NOT SPECIAL LITTLE SNOWFLAKES THAT DESERVE CONSTANT HUGS

I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER THAN THE DAY NEBRASKA WEASELED OUT OF THE BIG 12 SO THEY COULD LET JIM DELANY TELL THEM HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE
TOM OSBORNE PROBABLY DIED FIVE YEARS AGO AND NOBODY HAD THE HEART TO TELL HI
OKLAHOMA, WHAT GALAXY DO YOU LIVE IN AND WHY CAN’T YOU GO PLAY SPORTS THERE INSTEAD. YOU ARE MORE OVERRATED THAN TAYLOR SWIFT’S AWFUL FACE
NOBODY CARES WHAT T. BOONE PICKENS HAS TO SAY ABOUT ANYTHING. OKLAHOMA STATE IS KANSAS STATE BUT FURTHER SOUTH IS ALL
TEXAS TECH YOU LISTENED TO THAT ******* CRETIN CRAIG JAMES OVER MIKE LEACH AND FOR THAT I HOPE THE EARTH SWALLOWS YOUR CAMPUS

TEXAS A&M, YOU ARE NEVER WINNING A TITLE IN THE SEC, NOT EVEN ONCE, AND AT LEAST 80% OF YOUR STUDENT BODY IS WEIRD

I MEAN TEXAS A&M STUDENTS ARE THE KIND OF WEIRD WHERE YOU DON’T LEAVE THEM IN THE SAME ROOM AS HOUSE PETS UNATTENDED
TEXAS A&M YELL LEADERS ARE BECAUSE AGGIE IS SCARED OF WOMEN SO CONGRATULATIONS FOR BRINGING SAUDI ARABIAN CULTURE TO AMERICA YOU INBREDS
RICK PERRY IS AN AGGIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HOW IS HE EVEN ALLOWED TO LIVE ALONE AND CUT HIS OWN MEAT MUCH LESS RUN FOR PRESIDENT
I WAS TRYING TO GO MOSTLY IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER BUT I FORGOT MISSOURI. IMAGINE THAT, SOMEONE FORGETTING ABOUT MISSOURI
TEXAS JUST HAD TO KEEP TAKING AND TAKING AND TAKING. I SHOULD HAVE DONE WHAT LARRY SCOTT DID AND TOLD YOU TO GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC INSTEAD

TEXAS IS GOING TO BE LONELY FOREVER AND THAT’S STILL A FATE BETTER THAN IT DESERVES

CAN WE NUKE AUSTIN? IS THAT APPROPRIATE? IT’S PROBABLY APPROPRIATE

I’M OUT. I’M NEVER COMMISSIONERING ANOTHER CONFERENCE EVER AGAIN.

ENJOY YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE CONFERENCE, “BIG 12.” I HOPE YOU FAIL. I’M OUT. GOODBYE.

 

In the words of Ryan Hyatt, “The Fake Dan Beebe, we’ll miss him”.

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